In 10 hours we are scheduled to have the follow up test that may be life altering. Hopefully, it's nothing. Hopefully, it's the least exciting denouement possible. NO CHANGE! (or better- NOTHING IS THERE!) That's what I have prayed for every.single.night. for the past 3 months.
To say that I am anxious would be down playing it. I've never been more nervous about something in the entirety of my life but I am looking forward to getting this over with almost as much as I want to just ignore everything and cancel the appointment. It's a difficult conglomeration of feelings.
It occurred to me tonight that my son will have gone under anesthesia 3 times in his one short year of life and I've gone under anesthesia once in my 30(+) years.
6:00 AM will come too soon tomorrow morning. Tomorrow will incorporate the longest few hours of my life.
Please, please, please, keep up in your thoughts and prayers tomorrow.
We've been living life. We've been basically ignoring the elephant in the room and I think that's what we need to do. If we spent every day dwelling on the "what if's" we'd never have a happy moment.
Liam has been great. Super, wonderful, awesome, and any other adjective you can think of that means good. His eye have been perfect since the surgery. He has been hitting all his milestones, he's walking, he's laughing, he's loving life, and as far as I can tell, the mass has not affected him in the least bit.
So why am I back? Well, this is an outlet for me. And the count down is starting. We're only a few days away from the MRI. I've got so much anxiety and worry. I look at my perfect son and can't believe that there is anything that makes him not perfect. I don't know what I will do if the MRI shows anything other than no growth.
I don't want to come off as woe is me- that's the last thing I want. I don't want pity from people. Liam doesn't need pity.
I didn't really think many people actually read this but I've had a few requests for updates so I guess some people actually do read this! LOL
Ok- So we had a follow up for Liam's eye surgery. Everything went well. The doctor said it appears as though Liam is using both eyes equally and the eyes line up perfectly so no need for a surgical revision. YAY! We will follow up again in 3 months, then, if all is clear at that time, we will be discharged from the eye doctor's care. We will just need routine eye exams to see if Liam will need glasses or whatnot.
Now, years down the road, the strabismus may resurface and we will need another surgery, but that may be never. So here's to hoping.
Liam's MRI is on August 29th. 19 days away. I'm actually starting to get a little nervous already. I still pray every single night- I sing the prayers when I rock Liam before bed. Two birds with one stone.
Liam turned one on the 26th~ we had a nice party and he did awesome. He didn't cry. He was happy and actually engaged with a lot of people. He even helped open his presents! I will post pictures of the party on here soon. But here's his one year pictures. He's getting so big!